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Most Read This Week

Rules of my future woman

So you think you got rules? .. check out what this man has in his…

Man Who Just Reads News And Social Media All Day Unsure Why He’s So Depressed

NAJEERA, KAMPALA — Local Christian man Jacob Byabakama gets up in the morning and does…

Five nightmare wankers you’ll end up sat next to on a Uganda Airlines plane

GOING on holiday aboard Uganda Airlines? Prepare yourself to endure five hours stuck next to…

We will only dilute milk with mineral water – Milk suppliers declare

Kampala - Faced with low sales and waning public confidence in locally supplied milk, milkmen…

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Landlord Informs Tenants He’s Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By 200K

KAMPALA — Blaming the change on factors like inflation and steep URA taxes that were out of his control, local landlord Byakagaba Andrew reportedly informed…

Our Reporter By Our Reporter
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19°C
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96%
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KCCA to set up Pick-pocket Recuperation Centers

In a major move aimed at securing a moral victory over pick-pockets…

Research: This Article Successfully Pads Out Content Quota

KAMPALA — According to a new report released Friday, this article, the…

Churches Scramble To Widen Doorways As Sheep Return From Lockdown 50kgs Heavier

Kampala — Several churches in Uganda are being forced to widen their…

KCCA road contractors rejoice as rains resume

When Mr. Ntemela Akange, a senior accountant with KCCA looked down through…

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Kampala’s Potholes in a state of panic as KCCA Threatens to Fix Them

Kampala potholes have received information that KCCA is planning to fix them soon. This has caused a state of panic among the potholes, as they struggle to understand what has…

Bed bugs traumatized as NRM MPs fight for bed in Kyankwanzi

A group of four of us were sucking blood from some juicy female MP on…

The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette

ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling?…

Family Looks Forward To New Church Solving All Their Problems

KAMPALA — The Mukasa family has had lots of problems at the local church they've…

Just for You

HR admins to approach Election losers for degree verification and background checks on new employees

HR managers in Uganda have decided to seek services of election losers for education certificate…

Teary-Eyed Money Lenders Proudly Watch As 900M Assets Swear in as MPs

“Its happening! and it’s been absolutely amazing to watch my revenue stream grow right before…

Little Johnny discovers “Holy Shit”, writes to Kiwani Post

Dear Kiwani Post, I am writing to you to let you know that I’ve discovered…

Cows demand to be next Ugandan President

Mbarara; As the next Presidential elections in Uganda 2016 come closer, various Cow groups in…

Kampala’s Potholes in a state of panic as KCCA Threatens to Fix Them

Kampala potholes have received information that KCCA is planning to fix them soon. This has caused a state of panic…

Speeding bodaboda cyclist launches into space after hitting pothole

A speeding bodaboda cyclist has been launched into space after hitting a gaping pothole in downtown Kampala

KCCA sues politicians for blocking city sewer

Kampala politicians,a force that pokes it's nose in every thing in city affairs has thrown normal life out of gear…

As Lockdown ends, Churches Having To Remind People To Put On Pants

Kampala — Some churches across the nation have begun reopening, but church officials are running into a problem as many…

Corrupt Policemen announce massive discounts on bribes this festive season

The Uganda Corrupt Police Network (CPN) has announced a 50% off on all bribes this…

Weekend Office Party Leaves Employee with Stiff Stretched Lips

Okiror kept on smiling at them and laughing at their jokes for five hours continuously,…

Bats deny destroying Apac health facilities

The Bat community in Northern Uganda, which has been accused of invading several health facilities in Apac…

Five batshit things to wake up in the night and worry about

SLEEPING a bit too well at the moment? Here are five mad and pointless questions…

Horrified woman forgets to tell social media she’s had her Covid jab

A WOMAN who has just joined thousands of Ugandans in having her Covid vaccine is mortified she forgot to share…

We will only dilute milk with mineral water – Milk suppliers declare

Kampala - Faced with low sales and waning public confidence in locally supplied milk, milkmen…

Embarrassed Woman Sneaks Out Of House Early Morning After Sex With Husband

“I had a few too many drinks last night and made a huge mistake. Now…

Ugandan Men React to national budget

The National Budget has not gone down well with most Ugandans and Ugandan men have come…

Research: This Article Successfully Pads Out Content Quota

KAMPALA — According to a new report released Friday, this article, the one you are…

Ugandan TV viewers bored of old scams, demand new and interesting ones

With the news in media recently restricted to a few scams by politicians, Ugandans have demanded that there better be some…

Top Writers

Our Reporter 98 Articles
Kiwani Post publishes news with no reliable sources. Do not read if you are too religious, too political, too sentimental,…
Brian Tumusiime 16 Articles

Must Read

Embarrassed Woman Sneaks Out Of House Early Morning After Sex With Husband

“I had a few too many drinks last night and made a huge mistake. Now he’s going to get the…

Kampala Meat Packers Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep

Industrial Area - Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, management at Meat Parkers announced Thursday…

What if it were a Ugandan Airplane that had disappeared?

The events subsequent would be as follows: 1. The media shall report the news. The government will reject the news…

HR admins to approach Election losers for degree verification and background checks on new employees

HR managers in Uganda have decided to seek services of election losers for education certificate verifications because they are very…

Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament

In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an exclusive press conference, Mr. Corruption declared that he had "nothing…

By Our Reporter 3 Min Read

Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament

In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed…

The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette

ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling?…

Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day

I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still…

Breaking: All Of Uganda’s Problems Solved Overnight While You Were Sleeping

KAMPALA—In a string of overwhelming and unexpected successes, all of the uganda’s problems, from corruption…

Accept my apology for shagging your best friend and emptying the joint account, man tells wife

Brian Isabirye informed wife Diana he deserves credit for coming clean after the Whatsapp messages, bank statements, CCTV footage and…

Kampala resident breaks long jump national record while trying to jump over pothole

Kampala: 32 yr old Odong James from Nsambya created history in Uganda yesterday when he broke the almost 50 yr old national long jump…

The evolution of Kampala Rapists

A section of rapists in Kampala have come up explain how they came in to existence 1. You pass by a…

How to be a WhatsApp dickhead

RESEARCH shows that most adults now spend 100 per cent of their day titting about on WhatsApp. Here’s how to…

Churches Scramble To Widen Doorways As Sheep Return From Lockdown 50kgs Heavier

Kampala — Several churches in Uganda are being forced to widen their doors so returning customers sheep can fit through…

Oldest Kampala city pothole turns 18

The heart of Kampala has a pothole that happened to have turned 18 years yesterday and a grand birthday party was made in its honor by the city authorities. The…

By Brian Tumusiime 3 Min Read

Politics

16 Articles

Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament

In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an exclusive press conference, Mr. Corruption declared that he had "nothing…

By Our Reporter 3 Min Read

The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette

ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God’s gift to women’ Wayne Hayes explains.

By Our Reporter 3 Min Read

Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day

I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still doesn’t make much sense to me but I’d recommend it to anyone.

By Our Reporter 2 Min Read

Breaking: All Of Uganda’s Problems Solved Overnight While You Were Sleeping

KAMPALA—In a string of overwhelming and unexpected successes, all of the uganda’s problems, from corruption to disease to high costs of living, were reportedly solved while you slept, with each…

By Brian Tumusiime 2 Min Read

Makerere University Students Put Under Quarantine After Exposure To Library Book

Makerere University — Warning that the dangerous contaminant could have easily killed someone if the proper precautions had not been taken, students at Uganda's oldest university were reportedly locked in…

By Our Reporter 2 Min Read

Kampala Meat Packers Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep

Industrial Area - Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, management at Meat Parkers announced Thursday that it had hired assassins to quietly slaughter cows in…

By Our Reporter 2 Min Read

Landlord Informs Tenants He’s Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By 200K

KAMPALA — Blaming the change on factors like inflation and steep URA taxes that were out of his control, local landlord Byakagaba Andrew reportedly informed his tenants Monday that he…

By Our Reporter 2 Min Read

Trip Organizer Forced To Remove Sober Client From Road Trip Bus

KAMPALA — After management of a road trip around dubbed Uganda 360 escorted a passenger off the trip bus and charged him with orderly conduct, FlySafaris, a travel agent has…

By Our Reporter 2 Min Read

Child Putting On Whole Show For Woman Whom Single Dad Will Only Bang Twice

KAMPALA — In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his father had brought back to their home, sources reported Thursday that local child Jerry Kiwanuka,…

By Our Reporter 1 Min Read

Kampala’s Potholes in a state of panic as KCCA Threatens to Fix Them

Kampala potholes have received information that KCCA is planning to fix them soon. This has caused a state of panic among the potholes, as they struggle to understand what has…

By Our Reporter 4 Min Read
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