Your guide to giving a bullshit business presentation
CALLED upon to give a presentation at work? Here’s how to hit the right note of business bullshit to drive the company drones wild. Kick off with an abysmal joke…
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Survival guide to Driving in Kampala City
If you plan to drive in or through Kampala, it’s imperative to remember that it’s…
Oldest Kampala city pothole turns 18
The heart of Kampala has a pothole that happened to have turned 18 years yesterday…
Research: This Article Successfully Pads Out Content Quota
KAMPALA — According to a new report released Friday, this article, the one you are…
Rats in Parliament lose hearing sensation
Kampala. Mulago doctors have found that rats (rodents, not human beings) living in the Ugandan…
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You know your mother is Ugandan …
1. You Know Your Mother Is Ugandan if she has a drawer or a place for keeping paper bags after buying something in it. 2.…
Kampala potholes to be named after Politicians
Kampala. Tired of being accused of not doing enough to rid Kampala…
Little Johnny discovers “Holy Shit”, writes to Kiwani Post
Dear Kiwani Post, I am writing to you to let you know…
Research: This Article Successfully Pads Out Content Quota
KAMPALA — According to a new report released Friday, this article, the…
Bed bugs traumatized as NRM MPs fight for bed in Kyankwanzi
A group of four of us were sucking blood from some juicy…
Ugandan Men React to national budget
The National Budget has not gone down well with most Ugandans and Ugandan men have come up with the following changes and all concern women: 1. Any girlfriend who lives outside…
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Electricity fails to go off during heavy rains
In a bizarre development, electricity in and around the city was found on without any…
You know your mother is Ugandan …
1. You Know Your Mother Is Ugandan if she has a drawer or a place…
Ugandan Men React to national budget
The National Budget has not gone down well with most Ugandans and Ugandan men have come…
Telecom users allowed to step out during lockdown in search of Network – Government
Kampala: With the curfew and lockdown across the Uganda still in place, Government is repeatedly…
Five nightmare wankers you’ll end up sat next to on a Uganda Airlines plane
GOING on holiday aboard Uganda Airlines? Prepare yourself to endure five hours stuck next to one of these utter arseholes.
Government to launch mid-day snooze scheme for public offices
Kampala. Following the embarrassing photos of Ugandan MPs and Ministers sleeping during duty, government has decided to implement mid-day snooze…
Ugandan Men React to national budget
The National Budget has not gone down well with most Ugandans and Ugandan men have come up with the following changes…
Ugandan TV viewers bored of old scams, demand new and interesting ones
With the news in media recently restricted to a few scams by politicians, Ugandans have demanded that there better be some…
Woman fined for not facebooking during dinner date
Kampala. A 28-year-old woman (name withheld on request to avoid being shunned by men) has…
Road fails to develop potholes – Contractor blacklisted
Kampala. Local construction companies and consultants cutting across ideological and political divide have joined forces…
Tensions run high as wife utters name of ex during love making
Najeera. In a major relationship gaffe, Sharon Namubiru, 29, blurted out the name of her…
Parents meet to draft stringent Application form for their daughters
The Uganda Parents Association of Uganda (UPAU) met last Saturday at Tigeress Hotel in Kampala…
Parliament member evicted from whatsapp group
A member of Parliament has been removed from the August House’s WhatsApp group after he posted images of the latest…
Kampala resident breaks long jump national record while trying to jump over pothole
Kampala: 32 yr old Odong James from Nsambya created history in Uganda yesterday when he broke the almost 50 yr old national long jump…
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Bodaboda arrested for stopping at Zebra crossing
Kampala Road bodaboda cyclist, Kasozi Paul was this morning arrested in the middle of a busy section near Post Office building…
Coworkers On Zoom Trapped In Infinite Loop Of Telling Each Other ‘Oh Sorry, No, Go Ahead’
Kampala—Coworkers at a local advertising firm CTA Space remained trapped in an infinite loop of telling one another “Oh sorry,…
Bodaboda Accident Ruled Death By Coronavirus
KAMPALA — Dickson Okellor, a resident of Kireka was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident yesterday. His death was quickly…
Safe to take bribes again, conclude corrupt people
After lying low for several months as the mood of the nation was strictly against corruption and fraud, the dishonest…
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Wife Bans Live Gossip coverage of Husband’s Defiance Campaign
She says the activities are illegal as they are in clear breach of the Interim family Court Order issued by…
Resident fails to return home after being unable to recognize the empty roads during lockdown
Kampala. A city resident who had gone out to buy milk from across the street was left perplexed after he failed…
Pastor Accidentally Punches Self, Knocks Teeth Out While Preaching
Kampala — Gesticulating wildly while preaching on Romans 8:17 Thursday, Pastor John Okello accidentally struck himself in the face with…
Passengers encouraged to pray before boarding
In wake of another report highlighting the increase of road accidents in Uganda, Government has decided to encourage passengers to pray…
Cupid recalls millions of defective Ugandan Women
Heaven. Cupid, the leading global manufacturer of lovers, has decided to recall millions of defective women that were offloaded in…
KCCA road contractors rejoice as rains resume
When Mr. Ntemela Akange, a senior accountant with KCCA looked down through his office window, he initially thought that a flash mob was dancing and spinning open umbrellas outside the…
Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament
In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an exclusive press conference, Mr. Corruption declared that he had "nothing…
The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette
ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God’s gift to women’ Wayne Hayes explains.
Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day
I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still doesn’t make much sense to me but I’d recommend it to anyone.
Breaking: All Of Uganda’s Problems Solved Overnight While You Were Sleeping
KAMPALA—In a string of overwhelming and unexpected successes, all of the uganda’s problems, from corruption to disease to high costs of living, were reportedly solved while you slept, with each…
Makerere University Students Put Under Quarantine After Exposure To Library Book
Makerere University — Warning that the dangerous contaminant could have easily killed someone if the proper precautions had not been taken, students at Uganda's oldest university were reportedly locked in…
Kampala Meat Packers Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep
Industrial Area - Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, management at Meat Parkers announced Thursday that it had hired assassins to quietly slaughter cows in…
Landlord Informs Tenants He’s Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By 200K
KAMPALA — Blaming the change on factors like inflation and steep URA taxes that were out of his control, local landlord Byakagaba Andrew reportedly informed his tenants Monday that he…
Trip Organizer Forced To Remove Sober Client From Road Trip Bus
KAMPALA — After management of a road trip around dubbed Uganda 360 escorted a passenger off the trip bus and charged him with orderly conduct, FlySafaris, a travel agent has…
Child Putting On Whole Show For Woman Whom Single Dad Will Only Bang Twice
KAMPALA — In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his father had brought back to their home, sources reported Thursday that local child Jerry Kiwanuka,…
Kampala’s Potholes in a state of panic as KCCA Threatens to Fix Them
Kampala potholes have received information that KCCA is planning to fix them soon. This has caused a state of panic among the potholes, as they struggle to understand what has…
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