Man Who Just Reads News And Social Media All Day Unsure Why He’s So Depressed
NAJEERA, KAMPALA — Local Christian man Jacob Byabakama gets up in the morning and does his daily devotionals on Facebook, Twitter, and his favorite local news sites. This time of…
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Kololo Dogs express shock at unhygienic habits of Katwe dogs
The Kampala Urban Dogs Association (KUDA) has expressed shock at media reports suggesting that dogs…
Telephone Conversation – Men Vs Women
Telephone conversations can mask alot when on call but it is all let out once…
Bed bugs traumatized as NRM MPs fight for bed in Kyankwanzi
A group of four of us were sucking blood from some juicy female MP on…
Corrupt Policemen announce massive discounts on bribes this festive season
The Uganda Corrupt Police Network (CPN) has announced a 50% off on all bribes this…
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The new Job titles of today’s generation
Finding a decent job in Uganda is quite a hassle and after getting one, some of us need a decent job title on our business…
Chicken strike over use of eggs by Easter Bunnies
The Uganda Layers Association (ULA) has threatened to stage a demonstration against…
Parents Worried They’ll Have To Raise Their Own Children As Schools Shut Down
UGANDA — Parents across the nation have expressed their worry, fear, and…
Teary-Eyed Money Lenders Proudly Watch As 900M Assets Swear in as MPs
“Its happening! and it’s been absolutely amazing to watch my revenue stream…
As Lockdown ends, Churches Having To Remind People To Put On Pants
Kampala — Some churches across the nation have begun reopening, but church…
Government to launch mid-day snooze scheme for public offices
Kampala. Following the embarrassing photos of Ugandan MPs and Ministers sleeping during duty, government has decided to implement mid-day snooze scheme in public offices that is aimed at improving productivity…
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Little Johnny discovers “Holy Shit”, writes to Kiwani Post
Dear Kiwani Post, I am writing to you to let you know that I’ve discovered…
I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out
Kiwani Post managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us…
Rats in Parliament lose hearing sensation
Kampala. Mulago doctors have found that rats (rodents, not human beings) living in the Ugandan…
We will only dilute milk with mineral water – Milk suppliers declare
Kampala - Faced with low sales and waning public confidence in locally supplied milk, milkmen…
Every motorist to swear in the name of God before bribing Police
Corrupt Traffic cops in Uganda have decided to seek divine help. Any motorist bribing them will be asked to first…
Five batshit things to wake up in the night and worry about
SLEEPING a bit too well at the moment? Here are five mad and pointless questions that are sure to keep…
Cows demand to be next Ugandan President
Mbarara; As the next Presidential elections in Uganda 2016 come closer, various Cow groups in Uganda have demanded that a…
The photos can move left and right .. swii swee .. see?
These Uganda Policemen where spotted sometime back looking at a tablet and with the expression on their faces, I am…
We will only dilute milk with mineral water – Milk suppliers declare
Kampala - Faced with low sales and waning public confidence in locally supplied milk, milkmen…
KCCA to set up Pick-pocket Recuperation Centers
In a major move aimed at securing a moral victory over pick-pockets in downtown Kampala,…
Telecom Customer Faints on Finding Internet Data Still Intact After 3 Minutes
A telecom company has created a record of a kind by not eating up a…
As Lockdown ends, Churches Having To Remind People To Put On Pants
Kampala — Some churches across the nation have begun reopening, but church officials are running…
Every motorist to swear in the name of God before bribing Police
Corrupt Traffic cops in Uganda have decided to seek divine help. Any motorist bribing them will be asked to first…
Woman Hopes Husband Listened Closely To Pastor’s Sermon On Self-Righteousness
Ntinda, Kampala — Local woman Namakula Rachel told KiwaniPost on Sunday she hopes her husband Kasozi Andrew listened closely to…
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Ugandan Men React to national budget
The National Budget has not gone down well with most Ugandans and Ugandan men have come up with the following changes…
Oldest Kampala city pothole turns 18
The heart of Kampala has a pothole that happened to have turned 18 years yesterday and a grand birthday party…
Pastor Accidentally Punches Self, Knocks Teeth Out While Preaching
Kampala — Gesticulating wildly while preaching on Romans 8:17 Thursday, Pastor John Okello accidentally struck himself in the face with…
Bats deny destroying Apac health facilities
The Bat community in Northern Uganda, which has been accused of invading several health facilities in Apac District destroying some of the…
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Research: This Article Successfully Pads Out Content Quota
KAMPALA — According to a new report released Friday, this article, the one you are currently reading, has successfully padded…
NRM and FDC shirts clash inside basin, situation tense
Two t-shirts, a yellow one from the NRM and a blue one from the FDC have clashed in a basin…
Teary-Eyed Money Lenders Proudly Watch As 900M Assets Swear in as MPs
“Its happening! and it’s been absolutely amazing to watch my revenue stream grow right before my eyes,” said smiling loan…
Local Father Pretends To Understand Son’s Math Homework
Kampala — While helping his son with his P4 math homework Monday afternoon, local father Byaruhanga Dickson pretended to understand…
Kololo Dogs express shock at unhygienic habits of Katwe dogs
The Kampala Urban Dogs Association (KUDA) has expressed shock at media reports suggesting that dogs mainly from the slum areas…
Man arrested for failure to handover TV remote to wife after Fifa Worldcup
A Ugandan man who had confiscated the TV remote from his wife during the FIFA world Cup 2014 in Brazil was arrested by gun-waving cops just minutes later after the…
Woman Still Expects Ex To Fix Her Wifi, Listen To Work Drama
Ivan and I agreed that nothing should change just because we broke up,” Tracy said, eating her Rolex with nyanya mbisi. So obviously, he’ll still come over to fix my…
Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election
The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery, extortion, or last-minute "financial motivation" for votes. This has left Ugandan lenders confused and offended.
Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification
Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least surprising scandal of the decade, Kampala District has been thrown into chaos after an ongoing probe exposed a…
I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out
Kiwani Post managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us through a series of interpretive gestures and Morse code taps on a nearby table.
Criminals Dispute Uganda Police Crime Report
KAMPALA — Uganda Police Force’s recently released monthly crime report has incensed ccriminals across Uganda who have come forward to dispute the findings, claiming they have been “on their best…
EC Voter Register Update – Ghost Voters Demand Inclusion: ‘We Have Rights Too!’
In a surprising twist to Uganda’s electoral preparations, a group of self-proclaimed “ghost voters” has come forward to express their frustration at being excluded from the ongoing update of the…
Relax, I’m Just Here for the Vibes!’ – Ebola virus downplays USA travel advisory
In a groundbreaking and slightly unsettling turn of events, Ebola has granted an exclusive interview to Kiwani Post to address the recent travel advisories issued by the USA and the…
Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament
In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an exclusive press conference, Mr. Corruption declared that he had "nothing…
The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette
ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God’s gift to women’ Wayne Hayes explains.
Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day
I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still doesn’t make much sense to me but I’d recommend it to anyone.
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