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Most Read This Week

Rats in Parliament lose hearing sensation

Kampala. Mulago doctors have found that rats (rodents, not human beings) living in the Ugandan…

3 Min Read

Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament

In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed…

3 Min Read

Relax, I’m Just Here for the Vibes!’ – Ebola virus downplays USA travel advisory

In a groundbreaking and slightly unsettling turn of events, Ebola has granted an exclusive interview…

6 Min Read

Chicken strike over use of eggs by Easter Bunnies

The Uganda Layers Association (ULA) has threatened to stage a demonstration against the Easter bunnies…

4 Min Read

Latest News

LATEST

Kampala potholes welcome KCCA confusion

Potholes living in Kampala and Uganda at large have welcomed the confusion happening at Kampala City Council Authority (KCCA) and pray that it never ends…

Brian Tumusiime
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Local Father Pretends To Understand Son’s Math Homework

Kampala — While helping his son with his P4 math homework Monday…

1 Min Read

The evolution of Kampala Rapists

A section of rapists in Kampala have come up explain how they came…

1 Min Read

Parents meet to draft stringent Application form for their daughters

The Uganda Parents Association of Uganda (UPAU) met last Saturday at Tigeress…

4 Min Read

Wife Bans Live Gossip coverage of Husband’s Defiance Campaign

She says the activities are illegal as they are in clear breach…

5 Min Read
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Chaos in down town Kampala after Taxi stops to allow another car go first

Kampala: Business came to a halt last evening in Downtown Kampala near the Taxi park when a passenger taxi suddenly stopped to allow another vehicle to go first as it had…

3 Min Read

Your guide to giving a bullshit business presentation

CALLED upon to give a presentation at work? Here’s how to hit the right note…

Ugandan Men React to national budget

The National Budget has not gone down well with most Ugandans and Ugandan men have come…

Churches Scramble To Widen Doorways As Sheep Return From Lockdown 50kgs Heavier

Kampala — Several churches in Uganda are being forced to widen their doors so returning…

Just for You

Oldest Kampala city pothole turns 18

The heart of Kampala has a pothole that happened to have turned 18 years yesterday…

3 Min Read

Telecom Customer Care executive fired after solving problem in less than 3 minutes

A customer care executive from a leading Telecom company in Uganda has been fired from…

3 Min Read

Criminals Dispute Uganda Police Crime Report

KAMPALA —  Uganda Police Force’s recently released monthly crime report has incensed ccriminals across Uganda…

4 Min Read

How to turn on a Ugandan woman

Alot has been said on how to turn on women and here is what social…

1 Min Read

Ugandan TV viewers bored of old scams, demand new and interesting ones

With the news in media recently restricted to a few scams by politicians, Ugandans have demanded that there better be some…

7 bad habbits of men trying to impress a Girl

This guide is written for guys, who want a girl, but end up making a fool out of themselves. The…

Research: This Article Successfully Pads Out Content Quota

KAMPALA — According to a new report released Friday, this article, the one you are currently reading, has successfully padded…

Pastor Accidentally Punches Self, Knocks Teeth Out While Preaching

Kampala — Gesticulating wildly while preaching on Romans 8:17 Thursday, Pastor John Okello accidentally struck himself in the face with…

Bats deny destroying Apac health facilities

The Bat community in Northern Uganda, which has been accused of invading several health facilities in Apac…

3 Min Read

Government set to implement “one family, one idiot” policy

Kampala. In the wake of President Museveni branding a section of individuals including Members of…

3 Min Read

HR admins to approach Election losers for degree verification and background checks on new employees

HR managers in Uganda have decided to seek services of election losers for education certificate…

3 Min Read

Army could be called in to rescue falling Ugandan Shilling

Kampala. Latest reports coming from various unreliable corners suggest that the Army has been asked to quickly…

2 Min Read

NRM and FDC shirts clash inside basin, situation tense

Two t-shirts, a yellow one from the NRM and a blue one from the FDC have clashed in a basin…

4 Min Read

Rules of my future woman

So you think you got rules? .. check out what this man has in his…

Elections should run every year – Money Lenders

A group of money lenders has written to the Electoral Commission today and asked them to…

Telecom users allowed to step out during lockdown in search of Network – Government

Kampala: With the curfew and lockdown across the Uganda still in place, Government is repeatedly…

Accept my apology for shagging your best friend and emptying the joint account, man tells wife

Brian Isabirye informed wife Diana he deserves credit for coming clean after the Whatsapp messages,…

Local Father Pretends To Understand Son’s Math Homework

Kampala — While helping his son with his P4 math homework Monday afternoon, local father Byaruhanga Dickson pretended to understand…

1 Min Read

Top Writers

Our Reporter 105 Articles
Kiwani Post publishes news with no reliable sources. Do not read if you are too religious, too political, too sentimental,...
Brian Tumusiime 16 Articles

Must Read

Kaloli birds to get flying toilets after President orders relocation

Following reports that the days of scavenger birds commonly known as Kalooli at State House Nakasero are numbered following an…

Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament

In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an…

Bodaboda cyclists decry poor state of pavements in Kampala.

Bodaboda cyclists are up in arms with city authorities for failure to maintain the verandahs and pavements that they ride…

Safe to take bribes again, conclude corrupt people

After lying low for several months as the mood of the nation was strictly against corruption and fraud, the dishonest…

Woman Still Expects Ex To Fix Her Wifi, Listen To Work Drama

Ivan and I agreed that nothing should change just because we broke up,” Tracy said, eating her Rolex with nyanya mbisi. So obviously, he’ll still come over to fix my…

2 Min Read

Woman Still Expects Ex To Fix Her Wifi, Listen To Work Drama

Ivan and I agreed that nothing should change just because we broke up,” Tracy said,…

Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election

The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery,…

Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification

Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least surprising scandal of…

I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out

Kiwani Post managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us…

Man Who Just Reads News And Social Media All Day Unsure Why He’s So Depressed

NAJEERA, KAMPALA — Local Christian man Jacob Byabakama gets up in the morning and does his daily devotionals on Facebook,…

USA attacks Ministry of Health

The spokesman of Uganda Smokers Association (USA) has strongly condemned what they are calling below the belt tactics by the Ministry of…

Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day

I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still doesn’t make much sense to…

Parliament member evicted from whatsapp group

A member of Parliament has been removed from the August House’s WhatsApp group after he posted images of the latest…

Kololo Dogs express shock at unhygienic habits of Katwe dogs

The Kampala Urban Dogs Association (KUDA) has expressed shock at media reports suggesting that dogs mainly from the slum areas…

Horrified woman forgets to tell social media she’s had her Covid jab

A WOMAN who has just joined thousands of Ugandans in having her Covid vaccine is mortified she forgot to share her special news on social media.

1 Min Read

Politics

18 Articles

Woman Still Expects Ex To Fix Her Wifi, Listen To Work Drama

Ivan and I agreed that nothing should change just because we broke up,” Tracy said, eating her Rolex with nyanya mbisi. So obviously, he’ll still come over to fix my…

2 Min Read

Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election

The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery, extortion, or last-minute "financial motivation" for votes. This has left Ugandan lenders confused and offended.

3 Min Read

Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification

Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least surprising scandal of the decade, Kampala District has been thrown into chaos after an ongoing probe exposed a…

6 Min Read

I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out

Kiwani Post managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us through a series of interpretive gestures and Morse code taps on a nearby table.

7 Min Read

Criminals Dispute Uganda Police Crime Report

KAMPALA —  Uganda Police Force’s recently released monthly crime report has incensed ccriminals across Uganda who have come forward to dispute the findings, claiming they have been “on their best…

4 Min Read

EC Voter Register Update – Ghost Voters Demand Inclusion: ‘We Have Rights Too!’

In a surprising twist to Uganda’s electoral preparations, a group of self-proclaimed “ghost voters” has come forward to express their frustration at being excluded from the ongoing update of the…

6 Min Read

Relax, I’m Just Here for the Vibes!’ – Ebola virus downplays USA travel advisory

In a groundbreaking and slightly unsettling turn of events, Ebola has granted an exclusive interview to Kiwani Post to address the recent travel advisories issued by the USA and the…

6 Min Read

Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament

In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an exclusive press conference, Mr. Corruption declared that he had "nothing…

3 Min Read

The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette

ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God’s gift to women’ Wayne Hayes explains.

3 Min Read

Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day

I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still doesn’t make much sense to me but I’d recommend it to anyone.

2 Min Read
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