Our Reporter
Woman Still Expects Ex To Fix Her Wifi, Listen To Work Drama
Ivan and I agreed that nothing should change just because we broke up,” Tracy said, eating her Rolex with nyanya…
Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election
The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery, extortion, or last-minute "financial motivation"…
Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification
Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least surprising scandal of the decade, Kampala District has…
I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out
Kiwani Post managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us through a series of interpretive…
Criminals Dispute Uganda Police Crime Report
KAMPALA — Uganda Police Force’s recently released monthly crime report has incensed ccriminals across Uganda who have come forward to…
EC Voter Register Update – Ghost Voters Demand Inclusion: ‘We Have Rights Too!’
In a surprising twist to Uganda’s electoral preparations, a group of self-proclaimed “ghost voters” has come forward to express their…
Relax, I’m Just Here for the Vibes!’ – Ebola virus downplays USA travel advisory
In a groundbreaking and slightly unsettling turn of events, Ebola has granted an exclusive interview to Kiwani Post to address…
Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament
In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an…
The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette
ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God’s gift…
Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day
I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still doesn’t make much sense to…
Makerere University Students Put Under Quarantine After Exposure To Library Book
Makerere University — Warning that the dangerous contaminant could have easily killed someone if the proper precautions had not been…
Kampala Meat Packers Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep
Industrial Area - Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, management at Meat Parkers announced Thursday…
Landlord Informs Tenants He’s Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By 200K
KAMPALA — Blaming the change on factors like inflation and steep URA taxes that were out of his control, local…
Trip Organizer Forced To Remove Sober Client From Road Trip Bus
KAMPALA — After management of a road trip around dubbed Uganda 360 escorted a passenger off the trip bus and…
Child Putting On Whole Show For Woman Whom Single Dad Will Only Bang Twice
KAMPALA — In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his father had brought back to…