Kampala — Several churches in Uganda are being forced to widen their doors so returning customers sheep can fit through them as they enter.
Churches rushed to widen their doorways by a good three or four so congregants could fit through the doors and make it into the holy place.
“Frankly, it’s a real problem,” said Pastor Oga Kiwanuka of FireBurn Holycross PasstheOffering Ministries Church in Nakawa, Kampala. “We opened our doors this Sunday. We even had those really big double doors, but it wasn’t enough. We had to upgrade the double door to the new triple door.”
“Come one, come all. Bring all your money problems to church as all will be sorted — even if we have to break up the doors to get you inside.”
Those churches that failed to make adequate doorway preparations encountered disaster as the sheep desperate for the preaching of the Word and fellowship of the saints simply crashed through the walls like the Tom & Jerry cartoons, leaving large, human-shaped holes in the wall behind them.
Many churches are also reporting a massive spike in the number of broken chairs and tables thanks to the flood of overweight congregants returning to church.
